ADHD individuals haven't got a clue where the edge of the cliff is If they don't know where the edge of that cliff is, they fall of regularly But where you stand at the edge and see things nobody else sees…. (that's what she said) Sluts are cool but not when they fuck other guys …then people call you successful. People who live their lives far away from the edge of the cliff who don't take chances, don't do things that change the world.

Blame it on Saskatchewan The problems of today Those potash wells are burning Those conservative punks they died Don’t talk on your cell phone While you’re driving drunk The liquor stores they close at 21:00 Those roads will suck your pickup Right into the tree, it’s a damn good thing there’s only one way to Blame it on Saskatchewan Denial is the key Ignorance is the lock There is no begging down in Moose Jaw It’s not a welfare state (it’s a province!) That Wendy’s (wind is?) smoking hot Stop burning veggie oil In your tractor, Joe While your drive on Monsanto** The disability of the B.O.P. valve Test it while it fails, to Blame it on Saskatchewan In coveralls - our troops, Burning cattle at the trough: Watch “stubble jumpers” hopping West for so much more They just come back for a lay (over) Their doctors take patients, and Like Alberta beef, they slaughter “peacefully.” (it’s no wonder why we) Blame it on Saskatchewan The Tar sands way up there, and Plumbers know what runs downhill. Don’t get me wrong, The economy’s strong While we “smoke the pipe”, But if you want to know How the north shouldn’t go Head to Texas and pray they can’t Blame it on Saskatchewan The pump jacks left behind Just don’t take away our right (wing family) In Quebec, it’s illegal To march through the street*** Come on, citizens applaud Send in your best tear gas To support OUR troops, why not kill abroad? I caught a rubber bullet Square in my left nut, It was a right-wing vasectomy That I can blame on “a politician” The blood lines that they throw, so Here is your new show:

Dont break stuff (at the punk show?) Cracker Feend 2001, Hazeldean Hall Dumb fuck tore up the bathroom stalls Don’t break stuff at the punk show Even if your girlfriend dumps you (at the show) Don’t break stuff at the punk show (or in the bedroom, or anywhere, really.) A true belief in anarchy means you Don’t wreck stuff at the punk show If your self-esteem’s that low (vote for Stephen Harper!) Go smoke crack at the rock show.

This is the song for the car that I mighta’ owned in 2002...(Mighta’ not!) 1980 domestic “shaggin’ wagon” From Kenny Windsor, Wood makeup on the side But I don’t mind. Got a case of spray bombs, We’re going up the country. New black paint, I got high off the fumes
 12 bucks @ “product placement” Andritz has his class seven Shauna (Turner) laughed at no hubcaps... Thought I saw Anthony Jestin ...anymore Bought Zack Yerkza a bumper ($400.00!!!!) Cause I flipped the lid Through the fields: Bud (Frank Ferguson) and Shauna (Turner) 
“trading paint” (Making out) George (Brons) and Kaelin (Elliot) Were (just) friends then Jim on the hood, Eddie (Bennet)’s on the roof Fat Al smoking on the door, (to the) COP (he) says he’s “....stretching out the seatbelt!” Put out the “fire” in the back Let’s get Nathan (Lunde-Berry) some justice Blasting “Rednecks Have No Fun”...(by AWOL). The headlight cracked. Small price to pay, Way back in the day Push those carts out of the way Break an axle, we shouldn’t stay The “junkyard fix” is just my way The COPs roll by, they’re on display Young, dumb and full of come No consequences, we’re on the run These “golden years,” they will not last So let’s go out and burn some.... (Gas) Paintball rocks: (Ed Bennet) Bennie’s shooting out the window Screaming girls in the street, Want to hurl at the sight Ed’s hanging out a big black fright Yelling “DEATH TO THE LOGOS!” That George Brons mighta been right, Chaos surrounds me. dumb idiot crap But let’s keep our brain cells, say up all night. I just might have to change… The wrong headlight. Breakfast bombs: I’ll have mine over easy Out the driver’s side window Edmonchuck Square in the back Star quarterback The spot was black Wyanita (Fath)’s there was a ball A jerk wanted to make us fall I cooked up a gold surprise Late that night we took a drive While Adam’s reeling because it’s steaming, Jamie’s doing his pursed lip squeak thing Unknown number on my “brand name” analog cell He’s boiling mad, he said, “SHIT UNDER THE DOOR HANDLE IS NOT COOL!”. No, it’s just warm. Your just dessert,
 You just got served. Maybe he’ll learn Not to make fun ‘Cause he’s a jerk He smells like poo. He stinks around Can’t wash it off Cause he’s a jerk Just like me.

We’re all just ordinary average jerks. Our friends say they’re straightedge So they want to get drunk But they can’t find a good beer To hide in their trunk. Let’s go down Whyte Ave, Support Wunderbar Give some change to the “hobos” So they can buy more. We’re all just ordinary average drunks Go see a show, maybe drink in the back My friend she enjoys me, She ties her hair back There’s places to party, There’s places to score Just show me a bathroom, I’ll bust on the floor We’re all just ordinary average sluts Here at the office, working so late My staff is so hungry, They went home at 20:00 I will bend the intern over my desk A full time position, she do think is best No vasectomy, so wax her headlights She didn’t notice, her cervix in flight We’re all just ordinary average dads Cling to the sunset, confession at dawn Told we’re both winners, so we want to score No “haste will make waste”, stand on the pier We don’t know why, but we get up and cheer No swimming in gene pools, no diving in muffs Our father is buying his “strange” before lunch Shotgun marriages, the loves we expect She’s arranging flowers, while milking his farm We’re all just ordinary average wives Reel in a man with a short skirted yawn Spawn up a nest egg and swallow his charm The rooster you clean With your eyelashes closed The stinging won’t hurt you, The yolk’s in his clothes If it’s not a planet that you want to chew You can get schoolin’ - a job that’s for you Get a divorce or work as a store Temptations is hiring, red rockets adore We’re all just ordinary average clerks No credit card numbers from crack addict “perps” We sure don’t do cashback The washroom’s reserved This minimum wage, it’s hardly deserved Smiling not forced for the johns that we serve Paperwork cashouts, they balance and check 10 bucks in your pocket Your boss won’t suspect Let’s go to Wunderbar Find some good beer Go home and pass out Get up with a cheer We’re all just ordinary average jerks.

I don’t adopt orphans I think that blood lines are great Don’t sell me eugenics For you know I’ll never cheat Premarital sex I don’t like bananas Because I’m homophobic But I’d like to try out (and dry out) Your chocolate starfish And I won’t use lube There’s no free rides at church camp When she got down to pray Behind the old woodshed She was pulled out of Sex-Ed again A bare-back blowjob That’s all abstinence today 13 kids later She still won’t take a pill He can sleep downstairs With the mice and the fill Maybe he’ll get lucky With the prostate cancer fairy

I had this job, it kind of sucked Life in Alberta, it’s pretty rough If you’re not with them You’re out of luck So hit the oilfield - and buy a truck Our incomes are wasted On doctor’s gone crazy It’s kind of hard to get good head, out west Chase that money, forget you’re stuck There’s so much more here Than getting fucked Go get some cocaine to fix that rust Suck your own dick, don’t be a slut Our tax dollars wasted On credit card payments It’s pretty hard to keep good head, Out west Temptations massage, let’s give ‘em a call Order some takeout of sleazy bar New City Suburbs, they had to move Their bouncer’s haircut Their reputation bruised Cash dollars hazy This Edmonton oil plagues me ‘Cause it’s not hard to get bad head Out west Lust for distraction Throw it away Then find a new light To lead your way Come ride the oil wave on ETS Don’t bother paying, cause you know The answer’s yes We sure are pro-active With our bulletproof glasses Drop off the purpose pickup the drive and cut the line Bus drivers dialing Up dopers for siding To drown the tap, an ill felt rap On mental wrists (It’s the Alberta Advantage) Some jobs are like toilet paper You keep them long enough To wipe your rear It pretty hard, to wipe your ass, out west Let’s go to West Ed To suicide Rent us a handgun To gentrify We’ll hit the bullet on the hammer’s back To close the gap between The rich and the sack We sure are proactive with Oil covered caskets Don’t grow a mohawk Stop cutting it off

Scrotie: “Oh, so we uh gotta sing, hey.” Red: “They’re gonna let us sing here, on this one? Right on.” Scrotie: “Gotta earn those session dollars” How many rubs will make a right? How many tugs will work tonight? Where were you, while they were “smoking pole?” Slowly sliding down the hall Clicking heels, a bra too small Falling out, down on Stony Plain Road Someday you will find her Wide eyed, getting cab fare For a ride above a black hole Escorted cum lattes in the sky (Recorder part), then Red: “Well apparently somebody should have dropped out in kindergarten to be a rock star” Not just paying for their school Kids at home, a sitter rules Turning tricks Down on Stony Plain Road Smoking crack behind the bar Huddled in a worn down car Where were they While John was getting off? This was no temptation, A comic release, our “Escorted cum lattes” (x2) These rig pigs need to Get their rocks off, Go home to their wives. Their jizz entwined, a piercing kind Their safe is bolted down to our ceiling At (the dump known as) The “Blackspot Café” (Edmonton’s WM for musicians) Red: “Holy sheepers, I wish they’d just use AutoTune” Someday you will find her Wide eyed, taking cab fares For a “hotdog down that hallway”* (* a stolen Seth MacFarlane/Family Guy joke) Escorted cum lattes in the sky

rocking the knob right off, ride on pawnin’ the knob ride off, right off you can’t buy love, but you sure can rent it. so here’s how you gents can pawn your penis head on down to your local girlie saloon hold your head up, don’t act a fool now! men are from Mars and women from Venus if you rack up a debt, you can pawn your penis. taking it off is a noble profession
showing it all with the girlies obsessing. no time to be choosy, you’re “Mr. smoothie”, shake, shake, shake! some girls need a maid some men need a pasture your ass needs a smack, no need to indenture knocking on wood and pushing on plastic tickle the trunk and she’ll soon be yelling, round irkin’ the girkin’, cruisin’ for a bruisin’ a slap on the back, now you’re “Mt. St. Using” got a cricket paddle in the basket obelisk ready now for an asskick a moderate leash for your gentleman caller burning a bridge over Kilimanjaro a kick and a scream there’s a horse in the buggy a ride on the steeple, we’re not in a hurry taking a trip, gotta see ‘em to believe ‘em whipping and chaining up, no deceiving what a wicked web we weave when last we do deceive there’s no turning around with six figures I drown shake, shake, shake, shake the fireman, you’re so hot, I gotta put it out calling in sick, you sure need a kicking your ring of fire can sure take a lickin’ not a lot of squeeze, but we got a lot o’ fruit with kaegles and time, then over I shoot your ball gag a sure thing no beads on your... necklace for giving me a “Dirty Sanchez”, I thank you putting a plug in a “dark” situation I’m starting to think... I might be over working hocking the cock isn’t always so easy try to be nice and you won’t feel sleazy taking my time, it’s a moment to cherish working it off when I pawn my penis we’re coating the sausage, a sticky situation my banger gets mashed, the gravy no kidding pulling the tail on a “barbeque mouse trap” I figure you won’t mind if I pre-wrap... what a wicked web we weave when last we do deceive there’s no turning around with six figures I drown

I’m going in empty and I’m coming back full, 
this truckload of love fire up the reefer, and dust out the cracks check the free play, no pipe through the rack grease up your ball joints and check your dipstick 
my dispatcher’s smoking... a wet cigarette from the stop signs to the white lines, truckload of love momma’s been asking if I’m ever coming back take off & leave, a professional at that a real “straight shooter” ‘cause we’re just going slow save it all up for making her warm from the bear mace, to the diesel cakes truckload of love no lot lizards or getting cheap thrills
 so chain me up baby, we’re gonna take the hill not a lot of trees - but we tap a lot of juice but that’s cause I just hit a moose from the free rides to the red lights....
truckload o’ love just tryin’ to keep my pants on driving down East Hastings. 
Hit my “Vancouver play” no skinny brake checks, tap a full rack she received my truckload of love momma’s still asking if I’m ever coming back probably thinks I’m getting high on SMAK little does she know I’m drawing in the sack ‘cause that band broke up 8 years back from the skid marks to the track sharps truckload of love Pulling the pin to drop off the flame (Alex) Mihill will turn,
before Nifties changed the game I’m jamming gears, 10 hippies in the back Shay-Lee done groped me and puked in her lap from my fast food, to unpacked lunch she choked on my truckload of love. so put down the reefer, and clean out the cracks wet your 5th wheel for a hop in the back, grease up your nipples and check your dipstick my dispatcher’s smoking, a new cigarette from the long lines to the short checks (chicks?) it’s my truckload o’ love

looking for some good beer I can’t find my own kind so I drink before 09:00. I understand the concepts of hops and malts, I think. but when they come together then I’ll know, then I know impotence no no no no no! it’s that corporate beer! I can’t get it up I think I’ve had enough. no no no no no my wife, she wants.... happIness looking for a hummer on 118’th Ave it’s like shooting fish; into a barrel. 
find some self respect go down whyte and check out Blackbyrd.
then get wasted, at Wunderbar. pay the cover charge don’t you guest list “Marge” she’s your newfound charm just don’t feel up her skirt no no no Molson! no no no Labatt$! no more toxic beer goes down my escort’s gullet feeling kinda frisky, three beers in I couldn’t sin, so I reached in no no no no no! no no no no no! 
she’s got... happIness this is kinda awkward...
what should I do? I’ll eat me a grilled cheese
and think about my squeeze. no no no Molson! no Anheiser Bush! no more toxic swill goes down her transgendered gullet no no it’s so good, I can’t get enough and it’s not because 
I found... happIness hey Craig, so what’s my tab: 
I need to split. it seems that I’m in 
quite the.... “predicKament” down by the legislature, eternal flame getting “strange”. step into the fountain wash it off my dear, are we in the clear? paper or plastic, smoke it with a flick here is some cab fare, for MY ride home no no no Molson! no no no Labatts! no more corporate beer goes down my alcoholic gullet. no no, but it’s so good hide it in my food. no one will ever know, 
I had, Wunderbeer

I don’t adopt ad-orphans I think that blood lines are great don’t sell me eugenics for you know I’ll never cheat premarital sex if you’re a Christian or worship a solar deity please don’t be offended if your kids don’t want to breed they’re all dirty hippies who want to save the world can’t we see all this repressed sexuality has got our kids pregnant more times than not that’s not out of wedlock a shotgun marriage for three just use a condom after you get a vasectomy and she gets her tubes tied and her brand new I.U.D. if she’s not a Catholic all these things are meant to be can’t we see all this repressed sexuality has got our kids pregnant more times than not they say she’s a virgin it’s not to for me to judge a wife with a hymen her husband wouldn’t fudge what if she adopted a Jew from Galilee?