We’re all just ordinary average jerks.
Our friends say they’re straightedge
So they want to get drunk
But they can’t find a good beer
To hide in their trunk.

Let’s go down Whyte Ave,
Support Wunderbar
Give some change to the “hobos”
So they can buy more.
We’re all just ordinary average drunks

Go see a show, maybe drink in the back
My friend she enjoys me,
She ties her hair back
There’s places to party,
There’s places to score
Just show me a bathroom,
I’ll bust on the floor
We’re all just ordinary average sluts

Here at the office, working so late
My staff is so hungry,
They went home at 20:00
I will bend the intern over my desk
A full time position, she do think is best
No vasectomy, so wax her headlights
She didn’t notice, her cervix in flight
We’re all just ordinary average dads

Cling to the sunset, confession at dawn
Told we’re both winners, so we want to score
No “haste will make waste”, stand on the pier
We don’t know why, but we get up and cheer
No swimming in gene pools, no diving in muffs
Our father is buying his “strange” before lunch
Shotgun marriages, the loves we expect
She’s arranging flowers, while milking his farm
We’re all just ordinary average wives

Reel in a man with a short skirted yawn
Spawn up a nest egg and swallow his charm
The rooster you clean
With your eyelashes closed
The stinging won’t hurt you,
The yolk’s in his clothes
If it’s not a planet that you want to chew
You can get schoolin’ - a job that’s for you
Get a divorce or work as a store
Temptations is hiring, red rockets adore
We’re all just ordinary average clerks

No credit card numbers from crack addict “perps”
We sure don’t do cashback
The washroom’s reserved
This minimum wage, it’s hardly deserved
Smiling not forced for the johns that we serve
Paperwork cashouts, they balance and check
10 bucks in your pocket
Your boss won’t suspect
Let’s go to Wunderbar
Find some good beer
Go home and pass out
Get up with a cheer

We’re all just ordinary average jerks.