looking for some good beer
I can’t find my own kind
so I drink before 09:00.
I understand the concepts
of hops and malts, I think.
but when they come together
then I’ll know, then I know impotence

no no no no no!
it’s that corporate beer!
I can’t get it up
I think I’ve had enough.
no no no no no
my wife, she wants.... happIness

looking for a hummer on 118’th Ave
it’s like shooting fish; into a barrel. 
find some self respect
go down whyte and check out Blackbyrd.
then get wasted, at Wunderbar.

pay the cover charge
don’t you guest list “Marge”
she’s your newfound charm
just don’t feel up her skirt
no no no Molson! no no no Labatt$!
no more toxic beer goes down
my escort’s gullet

feeling kinda frisky, three beers in
I couldn’t sin, so I reached in
no no no no no! no no no no no! 
she’s got... happIness

this is kinda awkward...
what should I do?
I’ll eat me a grilled cheese
and think about my squeeze.

no no no Molson!
no Anheiser Bush!
no more toxic swill goes down
her transgendered gullet
no no it’s so good, I can’t get enough
and it’s not because 
I found... happIness

hey Craig, so what’s my tab: 
I need to split. it seems that I’m in 
quite the.... “predicKament”

down by the legislature, eternal flame
getting “strange”.
step into the fountain
wash it off my dear, are we in the clear?
paper or plastic, smoke it with a flick
here is some cab fare, for MY ride home

no no no Molson!
no no no Labatts!
no more corporate beer goes down
my alcoholic gullet.
no no, but it’s so good
hide it in my food.
no one will ever know, 
I had, Wunderbeer